Ubuntu Tips n Tricks

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Posted: 15 Jul 2010 02:32 AM PDT

In terms of speed, we can't deny the fact that Linux has an edge over Windows. This is because Linux is more efficient in handling computer resources when compared to the more bloated Windows. Through this speed advantage, it has been utilized on mobile devices and desktop PCs with limited hardware capabilities. Compared with Windows, Linux desktop boots faster and applications open up quicker and run snappier inside it. Linux servers are favored against those running on Windows because aside from being fast, they are also reliable and secure. I can go on and on explaining about its quickness but since I'm here to teach you how to make Windows faster than Linux, I will now share with you these tips:

1. Defrag Windows disk drive 3X a day
Ask any PC expert and they will always tell you that to speed up Windows you have to defrag your hard disk as often as possible. So in order to make Windows really fast (faster than Linux), why not defrag your hard disk three times a day.

2. Remove anti-virus software
I know this will make Windows vulnerable to security threats such as viruses, spyware, trojans, fungus (sic), and worms. But since this is all about making Windows faster, we recommend that you remove your anti-virus software because it's a resource hog and it is one of the key reasons why your desktop is running slow.

3. Disable Automatic Updates
This is another bad idea in terms of security, but disabling automatic updates can help Windows gain some speed. Running automatic updates slows down your system as it uses computer resources to constantly check for updates like security patches. The system also regularly (more regular than normal) checks and hunts down those who are using pirated copies of Windows.

4. Upgrade RAM
Like a good old tech adviser, I encourage you to upgrade or increase your RAM to accommodate the needs of Vista or Windows 7. There's no way that you can beat a Linux desktop using just 1GB of RAM.

5. Buy a new CPU
Buy a new CPU, make it Quad Core Extreme or better. That will surely beat the s%!t out of any Linux distro running on Pentium 3.

6. Downgrade to Windows 95
If you can't afford to buy a new CPU or upgrade your RAM, find a copy of Windows 95 (preferably genuine) and install it. Your Windows desktop will now be faster than any Linux distro made from 2007 onwards.

7. Wait for Windows 9

Windows 8 might be released next year but I urge you to wait for Windows 9 as it will surely become the greatest, most secure, and fastest operating system in the history of computing. It will be virus-free, anti-virus-free, and Windows-Genuine-Advantage-Notification-free. -Those are all according to Steve Ballmer.

I know that this article is part joke, part real, but I hope you all enjoyed reading this ~~crap~~ stuff :-)